1
00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:32,111
But where do you live now?

2
00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:34,792
With the lost boys.

3
00:00:35,712 --> 00:00:37,172
Who are they?

4
00:00:37,272 --> 00:00:40,493
They are the children who fall
out of their perambulators

5
00:00:40,593 --> 00:00:42,594
when the nurse is looking the other way.

6
00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:46,635
And if they're not claimed in seven days,

7
00:00:47,635 --> 00:00:50,195
then they are sent far away,

8
00:00:54,356 --> 00:00:56,357
to Neverland.

9
00:00:57,037 --> 00:01:00,658
- Bed.
- Daddy?

10
00:01:00,758 --> 00:01:02,618
- Yeah?
- We're like lost boys,

11
00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:04,419
- aren't we?
- Why?

12
00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:05,699
Because you have lots of adventures.

13
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,800
No, because we don't have a mummy.

14
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,641
Daddy, do you have adventures?

15
00:01:13,681 --> 00:01:15,681
Erm, you guys,

16
00:01:19,762 --> 00:01:21,763
you guys are my big adventure.

17
00:01:23,563 --> 00:01:25,564
Night, babies.

18
00:02:05,813 --> 00:02:07,814
What are you thinking about?

19
00:02:09,534 --> 00:02:11,534
Today.

20
00:02:13,895 --> 00:02:16,216
- Do you want my advice?
- Yeah.

21
00:02:17,176 --> 00:02:20,877
Just get through it.

22
00:02:20,977 --> 00:02:22,977
Are you gonna have a drink today?

23
00:02:23,897 --> 00:02:27,418
No. If I start, I won't be able to stop.

24
00:02:30,219 --> 00:02:33,860
Okay. The other thing
I was gonna say was,

25
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:38,861
- if you start to cry.
- I won't.

26
00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:42,902
- Why?
- Same reason.

27
00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:53,264
Is that yours or mine?

28
00:02:55,705 --> 00:02:57,785
- Mine.
- What time is it?

29
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,588
Ten to five.

30
00:03:11,148 --> 00:03:14,149
Right, let's call that
morning then, shall we?

31
00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:49,637
Shh, shh, it's okay.

32
00:04:05,881 --> 00:04:07,882
I knew Jess for three years,

33
00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:15,083
and I loved her.

34
00:04:17,564 --> 00:04:19,565
We had two children together

35
00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:25,286
and we were a family,

36
00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:31,167
for two days,

37
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,408
and that's not fair.

38
00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:43,670
It's not fair on me and
it's not fair on her.

39
00:04:43,770 --> 00:04:45,971
But most importantly,
it's not fair on them.

40
00:04:48,251 --> 00:04:50,252
'Cause without Jess in our lives,

41
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:54,313
no matter how much we, we
think we're missing out on,

42
00:04:54,413 --> 00:04:56,413
it's, it's nothing
compared to what they are

43
00:05:00,054 --> 00:05:02,054
because I can't love them for her.

44
00:05:03,975 --> 00:05:05,975
I can do this on my own

45
00:05:09,136 --> 00:05:12,497
and that might sound strange,
so, so let me clarify it.

46
00:05:19,499 --> 00:05:20,599
I can do this on my own

47
00:05:20,699 --> 00:05:24,020
because I have to,
because they need me to.

48
00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:27,580
It doesn't mean that I want to.

49
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:31,421
Sorry.

50
00:05:37,743 --> 00:05:39,743
So here's another promise.

51
00:05:41,464 --> 00:05:42,204
If you ever wake up

52
00:05:42,304 --> 00:05:46,505
and think, "I'd like
to see the twins today.

53
00:05:47,385 --> 00:05:49,246
I wonder if that's possible".

54
00:05:49,346 --> 00:05:51,626
Then know that the answer
will always be yes,

55
00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:54,947
because if we do that,

56
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,207
if every time you want
to see them, then you do,

57
00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:59,648
if every time you want to
be with them, then you are,

58
00:05:59,748 --> 00:06:04,029
then maybe, maybe we
can love them for her.

59
00:06:17,232 --> 00:06:19,233
I think that's what Jess would've wanted.

60
00:06:31,636 --> 00:06:33,836
They wanna know if they
can have a biscuit in bed.

61
00:06:35,236 --> 00:06:37,237
Didn't think so.

62
00:06:38,037 --> 00:06:39,337
You know, you don't have to
sleep on that every time.

63
00:06:39,437 --> 00:06:41,818
- I don't mind.
- Yeah, I know.

64
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:42,655
But you also don't mind complaining

65
00:06:42,679 --> 00:06:44,759
about your back for all
the next day, do you?

66
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,640
- Mum?
- What?

67
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,461
- I don't want to go.
- Oh, bloody hell, Ben.

68
00:06:56,561 --> 00:06:58,562
You're meeting a mate, not.

69
00:06:59,562 --> 00:07:01,142
You can't spend the rest of your life sat

70
00:07:01,242 --> 00:07:01,943
in here with me.

71
00:07:02,043 --> 00:07:05,303
You need to go out and, I don't know.

72
00:07:05,403 --> 00:07:06,264
Go, go. Go on.

73
00:07:06,364 --> 00:07:08,364
- Go on.
- Okay.

74
00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:12,205
- See you later.
- Have fun.

75
00:07:24,488 --> 00:07:25,948
Hey, do you ever, erm,

76
00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:28,549
ever like think about
having another relationship?

77
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,829
- No.
- Okay.

78
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:33,070
But like in the future,
distant future, I dunno.

79
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,510
Do you think about like..?

80
00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:35,831
Three features deadlines, an appointment

81
00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:38,391
to get ear wax extracted
from a child's ear

82
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,792
and two World Book Day costumes

83
00:07:40,892 --> 00:07:42,072
that we haven't even started yet.

84
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:43,312
Right? Those are the things that I need

85
00:07:43,412 --> 00:07:44,913
to think about before Friday,

86
00:07:45,013 --> 00:07:47,593
so no, I don't think about relationships

87
00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:48,554
in the distant future

88
00:07:48,654 --> 00:07:51,274
because I don't think
about the distant future.

89
00:07:51,374 --> 00:07:53,475
- I just think about.
- Ear wax.

90
00:07:53,575 --> 00:07:55,195
Yeah. Yeah, more than you know.

91
00:07:55,295 --> 00:07:57,296
- Why?
- Huh?

92
00:07:58,056 --> 00:08:00,056
What do you reckon?

93
00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:02,637
Come on mate. Time to
get back in the game.

94
00:08:02,737 --> 00:08:04,737
Come on - Come on.

95
00:08:05,097 --> 00:08:07,098
Really?

96
00:08:10,619 --> 00:08:12,279
Do you know what's weird?

97
00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:17,240
That neither of them feel
the need to come up for air?

98
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,721
I mean, I'm actually
starting to worry for them.

99
00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:22,822
Do you think we should call someone?

100
00:08:43,907 --> 00:08:45,907
Okay?

101
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,228
I'm really sorry. I can't do this.

102
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,553
- I envy that.
- What?

103
00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:19,855
Faith, you know, the kind of faith

104
00:09:19,955 --> 00:09:22,116
that allows you to
believe that she's okay,

105
00:09:23,116 --> 00:09:26,176
that she's in a better place,
that you'll see her again.

106
00:09:26,276 --> 00:09:29,617
The kind of faith that
allows you to experience all

107
00:09:29,717 --> 00:09:34,358
of this and just praise God.

108
00:09:36,799 --> 00:09:38,659
I'm not sure if that's what he's doing.

109
00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:40,760
What do you think he's doing?

110
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,121
I think he's searching for him.

111
00:09:50,762 --> 00:09:52,763
I'll go.

112
00:10:11,647 --> 00:10:13,648
- You promised me.
- What?

113
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,368
You sat at our table
and you promised me that

114
00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:21,689
that you would keep our only child safe.

115
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,511
Why couldn't you do that, hm?

116
00:10:26,611 --> 00:10:28,071
Why did you let this happen?

117
00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:29,031
Can we not do this now?

118
00:10:29,131 --> 00:10:31,612
- I want to know why.
- I don't know why!

119
00:10:34,012 --> 00:10:35,993
I don't know why any
of this had to happen.

120
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:39,794
I don't think that everything
happens for a reason and I,

121
00:10:39,894 --> 00:10:42,114
and I don't believe that that
God moves in mysterious ways,

122
00:10:42,214 --> 00:10:43,355
'cause if he does and this is it,

123
00:10:43,455 --> 00:10:44,195
- then he can go...
- Oi!

124
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,295
Well he didn't keep her safe, did he?

125
00:10:56,618 --> 00:11:00,319
I don't know why, but if blaming me

126
00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:02,159
makes you feel one iota
better, then go for it.

127
00:11:02,259 --> 00:11:04,259
'Cause you know what makes me feel better?

128
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,300
Absolutely nothing.

129
00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:13,362
- Ben.
- Leave him alone.

130
00:11:13,462 --> 00:11:15,782
- Ben!
- Leave him alone!

131
00:11:42,388 --> 00:11:47,310
Oi, shh. You'll wake 'em.

132
00:11:52,271 --> 00:11:54,251
- Good night?
- No.

133
00:11:54,351 --> 00:11:57,552
- Oh God, why not?
- Mum, can you just leave it,

134
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,613
please, all right, for tonight,

135
00:12:00,713 --> 00:12:02,173
can you actually just leave it?

136
00:12:02,273 --> 00:12:05,594
- I've had enough of this.
- Yeah, well go home then.

137
00:12:09,115 --> 00:12:10,935
You know, some people actually pay me

138
00:12:11,035 --> 00:12:12,976
to clean their houses, Ben.

139
00:12:13,076 --> 00:12:15,736
I have a job. I have a life.

140
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,137
Do you think that I drive 200 miles

141
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,857
down here every month for
the good of my health?

142
00:12:18,957 --> 00:12:20,137
Do you think this is easy for me?

143
00:12:20,237 --> 00:12:22,538
Do you think this is easy for me?

144
00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:27,019
Do you? Do you think that,
that eating and sleeping,

145
00:12:27,119 --> 00:12:28,979
walking, talking, breathing
in and out is easy for me

146
00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:29,820
'cause it's not, all right?

147
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,580
- Nothing is easy for me.
- So move on.

148
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,701
I tried! Right tonight, I tried.

149
00:12:35,801 --> 00:12:36,741
I actually tried.

150
00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,842
And even when I try.

151
00:12:42,242 --> 00:12:43,423
Look, you asked me if
tonight was a good night,

152
00:12:43,523 --> 00:12:47,844
and to be honest with you,
yeah, yeah it was, and then I.

153
00:12:55,606 --> 00:12:58,706
Do you remember a couple
years ago when Jack

154
00:12:58,806 --> 00:13:02,067
and Poppy wanted a glitter
party for their birthday.

155
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:04,068
I had to ask Dee what one was

156
00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:05,348
- and she said it's just.
- A load of glitter.

157
00:13:05,448 --> 00:13:07,308
Yeah, it's just glitter, right?

158
00:13:07,408 --> 00:13:10,109
It's glitter drinks
and glitter face paint.

159
00:13:10,209 --> 00:13:13,210
Anyway, after you'd all left,

160
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:16,050
it took me an age to clean the flat.

161
00:13:17,331 --> 00:13:20,231
But the funny thing is
right, even though I thought

162
00:13:20,331 --> 00:13:24,552
that I'd got it all, a couple
of days later, I'd be tidying

163
00:13:24,652 --> 00:13:26,653
up and I'd move something and ooh,

164
00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:31,574
there's a piece of glitter.

165
00:13:33,134 --> 00:13:34,675
And then a few days later,
there'd be another piece

166
00:13:34,775 --> 00:13:37,235
and had a couple of months
later, at Christmas maybe,

167
00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:42,337
or on Jess's birthday,
I'd be shaking the rug out

168
00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:47,258
and loads of pieces of
glitter would just fly off,

169
00:13:51,259 --> 00:13:55,020
even though I felt sure
that I'd got it all by then.

170
00:14:00,141 --> 00:14:02,141
That's what it feels like.

171
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:08,843
Just when you think
you're, you're doing well.

172
00:14:08,943 --> 00:14:10,943
Just when you think you, you're healing,

173
00:14:14,544 --> 00:14:16,545
there's a piece of glitter

174
00:14:19,465 --> 00:14:24,466
and your heart breaks all over again.

175
00:14:30,348 --> 00:14:33,309
The truth is, I met someone
really special and she died

176
00:14:35,989 --> 00:14:38,150
and I'm never gonna meet
anyone as special again.

177
00:14:50,913 --> 00:14:54,514
So, not a good night then?

178
00:15:31,082 --> 00:15:33,083
This is my story now.

179
00:15:37,124 --> 00:15:41,325
We had two children
together and the next day.

180
00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:01,909
This is where I want to get married.

181
00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:04,010
Oh, yeah?

182
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:07,011
Got anyone in mind?

183
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,319
In you go.

184
00:16:41,419 --> 00:16:43,419
Hello, love.

185
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,200
He's in a good mood.

186
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,301
Doors!

187
00:16:50,781 --> 00:16:54,442
Poppy? What happened at school today?

188
00:16:54,542 --> 00:16:56,542
We're not talking about it.

189
00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:01,743
I'll go.

190
00:17:02,584 --> 00:17:04,584
Doors!

191
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:18,907
Guys, do you want to tell
me what happened today now?

192
00:17:20,468 --> 00:17:22,468
Are you gonna tell him?

193
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:29,110
Okay. Well apparently Jack
said that their mummy was

194
00:17:30,470 --> 00:17:35,131
in heaven and then some kid
at school said, no she wasn't,

195
00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:37,172
because heaven doesn't exist.

196
00:17:37,272 --> 00:17:40,192
Is that true?

197
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:48,634
Erm.

198
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:55,236
Don't. I just spoke to my dad.

199
00:17:57,036 --> 00:17:58,777
- How is he?
- Good.

200
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,877
He mentioned christening them again.

201
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,218
Look, I know you don't believe.

202
00:18:03,318 --> 00:18:04,178
- Yeah, I don't.
- And honestly,

203
00:18:04,278 --> 00:18:05,778
I'm not sure I believe either.

204
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:07,899
But I would like them to be open

205
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,239
to the possibility of
believing in something.

206
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,440
I think it's important.

207
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,861
It's important to my family

208
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,621
- and it's important to me.
- Yeah, I know, I just.

209
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,342
Do we really wanna start
raising our children

210
00:18:19,442 --> 00:18:23,002
by telling them that Jesus is magic?

211
00:18:25,883 --> 00:18:27,624
How about we start raising our children

212
00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:29,104
by showing them there's more

213
00:18:29,204 --> 00:18:30,824
than one way of looking at things.

214
00:18:30,924 --> 00:18:32,745
How about we do that, Ben?

215
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,145
Can we at least have
a conversation about it?

216
00:18:34,245 --> 00:18:36,066
We just did.

217
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:38,166
Doors!

218
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,208
Well, the truth is,

219
00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:50,829
that different people
believe different things,

220
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,469
but nobody really knows.

221
00:18:52,569 --> 00:18:54,570
Well, where do you think she is?

222
00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,571
Well, I know where she is.

223
00:19:00,291 --> 00:19:02,292
She's in you, isn't she?

224
00:19:03,532 --> 00:19:05,272
She's part of you.

225
00:19:05,372 --> 00:19:09,573
She's in your eyes and
she's in your smile.

226
00:19:11,414 --> 00:19:13,414
She's in the things that you like.

227
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,856
Did she like trains?

228
00:19:23,657 --> 00:19:26,817
- Yeah. Yeah, she did.
- Train mad.

229
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:41,561
On the desk.

230
00:19:41,661 --> 00:19:42,361
So, the kids tea is in...

231
00:19:42,461 --> 00:19:43,197
Mum, I'm sure whatever you were about

232
00:19:43,221 --> 00:19:44,122
to say was gonna be riveting,

233
00:19:44,222 --> 00:19:47,042
- but I've gotta go, okay.
- Fine.

234
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:48,563
And you can take that down
for me while you're at it.

235
00:19:48,663 --> 00:19:52,083
- Okay.
- Why are you rushing?

236
00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:54,184
- Are we late?
- No.

237
00:20:00,905 --> 00:20:01,646
You're late.

238
00:20:01,746 --> 00:20:03,926
But I've been writing for
this paper for six years.

239
00:20:04,026 --> 00:20:05,487
Do you know how many
actors I've interviewed

240
00:20:05,587 --> 00:20:07,327
for this column about rising stars?

241
00:20:07,427 --> 00:20:09,367
- Lots.
- Yeah, correct.

242
00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:10,568
And do you know how many have risen?

243
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:11,568
- None.
- Yeah, correct again.

244
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:12,848
Look, this is a pointless column

245
00:20:12,948 --> 00:20:15,049
that nobody's interested
in, least of all me.

246
00:20:15,149 --> 00:20:17,809
Also, nobody cares about plays.

247
00:20:17,909 --> 00:20:20,070
- Ah, just do it.
- Anyway, I'm here.

248
00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:33,493
Hi, hey, sorry, sorry,

249
00:20:33,593 --> 00:20:37,454
I had to run and haven't,
well, run in 10 years.

250
00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:39,294
- I can tell.
- Yeah.

251
00:20:39,394 --> 00:20:42,015
Anyway, thank you so much for doing this.

252
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:44,136
Everyone at the paper is
really excited about it,

253
00:20:44,236 --> 00:20:46,236
so I'm just gonna find my dictaphone.

254
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:48,577
Oh, here we go.

255
00:20:48,677 --> 00:20:50,677
Sorry. Bear with.

256
00:20:51,637 --> 00:20:55,438
- Hi.
- Hi.

257
00:20:57,599 --> 00:21:00,980
Sorry, we're just, we're
just doing an interview.

258
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Who with?

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Emma Lyttleton.

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It's funny, because I'm Emma Lyttleton.

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00:21:12,802 --> 00:21:14,803
- Wait, so, so you're?
- Not.

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00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,464
- No. Should I?
- Yeah.

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00:21:19,564 --> 00:21:23,025
- Yeah, sure. Sorry.
- It's all right.

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00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,125
Sorry.

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00:21:29,326 --> 00:21:34,327
- Sorry. Right, that was awful.
- Which bit?

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Pretty much all
of it so far, I'd say.

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00:21:40,689 --> 00:21:42,949
- Do you do this a lot?
- Embarrass myself.

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00:21:43,049 --> 00:21:45,750
- Interview people.
- Yeah, I, I do a bit

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00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:48,831
for the paper and I also
write for a men's magazine.

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00:21:48,931 --> 00:21:50,111
What's that?

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00:21:50,211 --> 00:21:52,212
All cars, clothes, and
how to talk to women.

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I have never written an
article on how to talk to women.

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00:21:55,412 --> 00:21:58,613
- Or read one, apparently.
- Okay, great.

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Should we start?

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00:22:00,974 --> 00:22:04,815
Okay, cool. Recording.

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So Emma, is this the worst start

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to an interview you've ever had?

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I've never been interviewed before,

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so I've little to compare it to.

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00:22:16,817 --> 00:22:18,038
Okay. Well you should
probably know it's,

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00:22:18,138 --> 00:22:19,038
it's pretty bad.

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Do you think there's any
chance we can turn it around?

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I doubt it, but you know,

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we'll give it a try.

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So, what happens next?